Things Student's Say (Drug Prevention Edition!)

I've decided that I could be a weatherman (weatherwoman?) solely based on the fact that my students go insane before a storm. The day before a storm comes, I find myself repeating directions a million times, taking phones, telling student's to sit down, and saying things like, "You guys can stroke each other's hair on your own time..." So it was no surprise when I woke up today to snow and rain and thought, "No wonder my student's were driving me nuts on Friday..." Guys, student's just know when a storm is coming. Like when people do crazy things during a full moon, there's just no way to explain students' odd behavior before the storm. It just happens.

Believe it or not, there is a bright side to all of that craziness, though--my students say hilarious things! Especially during our drug prevention unit. So enjoy the things I've heard throughout this unit. Keep in mind, we're only 3 days in...

Student (pointing to the date of April 3, 1987 on an assignment): Mrs. Gourley? Is this your birthday? Because the years add up to you being 26, and you look like you're 26.
Me: That's not my birthday... but do you really think I look 26 years-old? I'm not quite sure how I feel about that...
Different Student: No! She can't be that old, because she knows what "on fleek" means!!!
(that same student wrote this in an assignment where they were supposed to write a letter to a friend that is contemplating suicide)

Me: What is addiction?
Student: It's when you just can't stop! Just like the Oreos!

Me: How are drugs made? Or where do they come from?
Student: THE GOVERNMENT!
(Different class period, different student, same question): MEXICO!

Me: What harmful effects can narcotics have on you?
Student: Well.... can't they make you, like.... constipated?

Student: Why can't scientists just invent a way to inject endorphins into yourself? Then we wouldn't have to exercise to be happy.
(another student's response to that question: "Well, they did that on Dr. Who and everybody that did it died after 5 minutes, sooo... probably don't want to do that.")

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I can only imagine what comments and questions are going to appear during our human sexuality unit... 

Happy Monday!!