Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Missin' Our Punkin's

The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss . . . 
Every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude.
-Joseph B. Wirthlin

 photo postsignature.jpg

Friday, October 6, 2017

Tidbits of September

(this post has been sitting in my drafts box)

Hi! Hello! Remember when I took a break from blogging?

...Who am I kidding? Does anyone even read blogs anymore? Can we please just go back to 2012 when people had blogs, YouTubers actually did makeup tutorials, and I didn't feel the social pressure of needing to fill in my eyebrows yet (sigh...my biggest wedding regret)? Oh! And when my weight was significantly less?!

ANYWAY. Besides getting sidetracked per usual, I'm gonna need to do some September catch-up via phone dump... per usual. It blows my mind that we are already into October! September was such a strange month this year... the days felt long, but the month went by so fast! So many feels + mixed emotions + ah... I guess I should just make you keep reading? Duh.

So here we go!

Chicago// I got to go to Chicago for a few days with my parents + sister + Averi Shay! Our trip consisted of all the usual things that I love: food + shopping + family + more food! It also consisted of me wearing a Cub's hat that I've owned for 8 years and having to pretend that I'm a Cub's fan. The only disappointment of the trip would be discovering that the Hershey store was no more. Actually, a bigger disappointment might the fact that I was more willing to drop $30 on Ghirardelli's chocolate than on a shirt. But! Caramel Pumpkin Spice! Oh, Chicago... I already miss you, and your deep dish pizza.
Graham and Jett// I'd be lying if I said September wasn't a hard month in this regard. I don't think I was fully anticipating all the emotions the boys' due date would bring up, especially since we had never truly planned on them making it to their due date, but then September 6th came and it was like surprise! Ugly crying! Lots of it. I'm a little afraid of what emotions are going to come up during all the holidays this year (do we really have to go through another Christmas without a baby?!), but I know that we have the most amazing family members that will help us get through them all. Seriously, our families have been so amazing through everything and continue to be answers to our prayers daily. Our boys are so, so loved, and for that, we are grateful.
Birthday Explosion// Of course I've gotta blog about my birthday! How could I not after Chris pulled out all the stops and made it the best birthday yet? I'm talking food, pedicures (Chris even got one! He was a "vujin pedicue" according to our Asian nail lady ha!), family, movies... everything I love! Even if I had to remind him a few times that I was expecting big things since he was leaving me on my birthday to go hunting... ha! I'm the worst. I know. After this year I kind of always want Chris to always leave on my birthday ;) Some other noteworthy things about my birthday month: It's always 21 days of Beauty at Ulta during September! + a Sodalicious just opened up by my work... coincidence? I think not! Yay September! Yay for being a Libra! ... whatever that means.

Gone huntin'// Speaking of Chris going hunting... it wasn't just on my birthday. Almost any free time he's had this last month, he's gone scouting for elk with the fellas. Just going to look for elk, not shoot, in freezing cold weather, with not very good food is probably my worst nightmare... but whatever makes you happy, right babe?! Really though, Chris deserves it. He's so giddy whenever he gets back and I pretend to be super interested in elk bugling. I will say that I am grateful for elk hunting to be over soon, though...I'm not used to this hunting wife life!

I guess I should also mention that September consisted of way more football watching then I'd like. And by watching, I mean Chris watches while I fall asleep and wake up to BYU getting crushed. I have a feeling October is going to follow this same pattern...

 photo postsignature.jpg

Thursday, August 31, 2017

Meet Lupin

Blog world, meet Lupin! Aka Loopers, Loop, Lupinstein, etc. The kitty that was given to me against all of Chris' wishes while he was away in Canada back in June. Ha! Thanks, Shelbs and Haley! I'm pretty sure Chris will never leave the country again.

Fun fact: I've wanted a kitten ever since Chris and I got married. Other fun fact: Chris hates cats + is "allergic" + has always put the kabosh on letting me have one since we got married (Shelbs and Haley have a lot of guts).

Simply put: I love Lupin and Chris hates Lupin, but Chris loves me enough to let me keep Lupin for now. Actually, deep down (like deeeeeeeeeep deeeeeeeeeep down) I know that Chris loves him + I have plenty of pictures in my phone to remind Chris that he does.
Some Lupin loves:
sleeping outside our door
playing with a miniature Christmas stocking
hiding in the corner of our kitchen cabinets
nibbling on my ear (I know... I've reached full-blown crazy cat lady status)
my orange minky blanket
chicken and halibut but he's about 3 weeks clean now (please bless I can say no to my children better than I do Lupin)
climbing up on top of our kitchen table
killing flies in our windowsill
irritating Chris
aaannnnndd the occasional cookie left out on our countertop (did I mention Lupin irritates Chris?!?)

Now you know who I've been hangin' with all summer! I figured I better document Lupin while I still can. . . who knows how much longer Chris will really let me keep him. Because the more human food Lupin sneaks, the more Chris' patience wears thin.

 photo postsignature.jpg

Monday, August 28, 2017

Year 3. It's fine. I'm fine.

Somedays I can't believe that I'm already on my third year of teaching, and then there are some days I'm like, Yes, I'm definitely on my third year of teaching... are we sure this isn't year five?!

Not gonna lie, though... year three had me starting out in a weird + emotional funk. Like, not even 24 hours ago I was crying to my sister about said funk. For starters, I didn't have back-to-school nightmares, I didn't get butterflies on the first day of school, and I just really didn't feel any motivation to plan ahead for the first day.

All my lack of enthusiasm for this year was probably due to the fact that I wasn't planning on coming back this year, and neither was my principal (until the last minute at the end of the school year), which resulted in me and Keisha forced to share a classroom this year, teach way more PE classes than health, and a lot of other big changes that I won't bore you with. Fun fact about me is that I don't deal with change well. Like, at all. Ha. Hence, tears every day of my first week back + I'm in everybody's way! + There's no place for me here! thoughts. UGH.

But then today as I taught my first "real" lesson, my heart just kind of exploded with joy + love for my new students, which must have sent a signal to my brain that screamed, Calm your tits, Shay! You are F I N E!!! You owe it to these kids to be your best, happiest self this year. 

Sooo I guess what I'm trying to say is that I can't judge the rest of my school year based off my first week, because let's be honest, first week is kind of the worst, right?! Plus, I have more important things to worry about than sharing a classroom or having my own desk -- like T-Swift's new single, duh. Do you guys love or hate it? I'm kinda diggin' it.

ANYWAY. Here we go, year 3! Consider my best foot now forward.

 photo postsignature.jpg

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly: San Diego!

My doctor said there's only one thing he knows that even remotely helps ease the heartache of losing a baby (or babies) + infertility:
v a c a t i o n.

So, that's what we did! Doctor's order.

We talked to the roomies (my in-laws), and somehow decided on going to San Diego. Kind of random, but it was definitely a nice change of pace from our usual go-to vacation spot in St. George. Even though I kind of hated the fact that we had the opportunity to go on a vacation, I'm so happy we went. I guess my doctor knew what he was talkin' about...

Enjoy the highlights--good, bad, and ugly.

The Good:
-vacationing with the roomies!
-everything at Casa de Guadalajara... where all my cheese-filled dreams came true
-rootbeer floats in old town
-the smell of our hotel...I'm confident that the smell of the hotel is what heaven smells like + me and Martha were so in love with the smell that we asked the concierge desk what it was (it's called "attune")
-Tom G hooking it up with the best seats behind the dugout at the Padres game
-getting our pictures on the scoreboard at the game
-the pool
-frisbee contests in the pool + Chris trying to lift Marty on his shoulders
-Ghirardelli's samples and ice cream
-the "crime scene" pizza at Pizzeria Luigi (why am I so late to the ricotta cheese game? soooo amazing)
-the concierge lounge for second dinner + diet pepsi on tap 
-Coronado island
-the "frings" at Burger Lounge
-UBER (first timers!)
-watching Shark Week in a hotel bed
-Marty always having Hi-Chews on hand
-shopping in the Gaslamp District
-Hodad's...well worth the wait!!! + all the heart eyes for the best chocolate shake I've ever had
-visiting the San Diego temple SO SO PRETTY

The Bad:
-"cheese cramps" from Casa de Guadalajara
-not being able to find Casa de Guadalajara and literally taking the longest route possible to get to it
-finding out that the scent in our hotel costs $150
-Tom G "scouting things out" - I was not mentally or physically prepared for that
-me and Marty losing to Chris and Tom G in the frisbee contest
-Chris' caramel malt at Ghirardelli's not really having caramel in it
-no fry sauce in Cali :( 
-not staying at Coronado Island long enough
-Chris convincing me to walk almost 3 miles (unknowingly uphill) in the San Diego humidity to get to a golf course
-finding a raisin cookie in the chocolate chip cookie jar in the concierge lounge... oh, the trust issues!!!
-Jason having to break into our house to feed our cat while we were gone
-not catching a foul ball at the Padres game
-the honeymoon couple next to Chris on the plane "high thighing"
-getting sick from drinking the chocolate shake at Hodad's too fast
-not having enough time to try all the amazing food places in San Diego

The Ugly:
-my nightmares about falling off our 19th floor balcony hotel room
-how sore I was from doing a BBG workout in the hotel gym
-my hangry + sweaty + no-longer-curled hair from walking to the golf course with Chris
-COMIC CON convention center right next to our hotel.... 'nuff said

 photo postsignature.jpg

Monday, August 7, 2017

Jett & Graham

Jett and Graham our hearts are full of love for you
But we feel heartache and sadness too

You brought so much excitement to all your family
Especially your dad and mom, Chris and Shayli

We all have questioned and wondered why
But as we think and pray all we do is cry

You went to Heaven, so very far away
Even though we wanted you both to stay

We miss you most of all late at night
When life is quiet and doesn't seem right

Your dad and mom prayed for you from the start
So remain close to them for they each have a broken heart

We know that rainbows come from rain
And to cherish joy we go through pain

So we will turn to light and faith in the Son
Until we meet again when our mortal journey's done

Poem by my sister-in-law, Janeene <3

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

The last few months have felt so heavy. We lost our boys to TTTS and they were born sleeping on May 17th, 2017. We miss them and the happiness they brought to us more than I think we will ever be able to describe. 

It's a little scary putting all this out on my little corner of the web, because if you've followed me for a while, you know I try not to get too serious or too personal on here. But I'm hoping that my vulnerability can help someone who has or is going through something similar, or experiencing infertility. I'm hoping that as me and Chris continue on this journey of trying to find rainbows after rain (puddles and puddles of it!), that my words or example can bring comfort to anyone who happens to stumble upon A Tidbit of Love. Even if it's just one person... I'll be happy with that.

Chris and I are already off to a good start on our journey thanks to a stupidly supportive family + friends + neighbors + strangers who have gone out of their way to bring comfort to us. I will forever be grateful. You have all inspired me to be better and want to serve more. 

So here's to vulnerability! and blogging again! And most importantly, here's to Jett & Graham-our perfect angels helping us to find and recognize all the rainbows in our life. There will always be more than just a tidbit of love in our hearts for you. 

 photo postsignature.jpg

Thursday, April 27, 2017

Chris' List

After paying $13 for two medium-sized smoothies at Jamba Juice tonight, Chris is officially adding Jamba to his "list of places he's done with." Jamba also didn't help their cause when they added greek yogurt instead of sherbet to my smoothie, causing Chris to run back into the store and ask them to make a new one for me. I like to think that Chris' gesture was simply for me and my "pregnancy craving", but I'm pretty sure it's because he was not about to have a $5.60 smoothie go to waste. He is a Gourley, after all!  

For similar reasons, these other places are currently on Chris' "list": Swig (Chris is on his own with that one), Chili's, and Firebird Pizza. 

RIP Pink Star Smoothies. 

 photo postsignature.jpg