Still got it.

In pseudo defense of this car selfie: I got hit on today. Well, almost hit on. But almost getting hit on means you've obviously still got 'it' going on, and people that have 'it' going on take car selfies...right?!   

You may be asking yourself, "How does one almost get hit on?" Well, let me tell you!

After an extremely long, boring hour and a half of class, I started walking to my car. As I was walking, I saw this guy in a two-sizes-too-small maroon shirt pop up from the staircase, and two seconds later, he was walking right towards me. Here's how the conversation went:

Too-tight-of-shirt boy: "Hey.... do you know where the Talmage building is by chance?"
Me: "Umm... the Talmage? I don't kn-"
Too-tight-of-shirt boy: *interrupts me mid-sentence* "Oh never mind you're married. I was just trying to hit on you" and walks away.

Ummm....Did that really just happen? 

I couldn't help but feel torn on the situation. On one hand, I was flattered. You know the How I Met Your Mother episode where Robin wears her engagement ring and she basically becomes invisible? Sometimes I feel like that--nobody looks/talks to you when you are married, so it was nice to know that I've "still got it" while wearing leggings and sportin' 4th day curls, I guess. But on the other hand, I couldn't help but be a little offended. Why didn't tight shirt boy just play it cool and keep pretending like he was looking for the Talmage building instead of rudely interrupting me and treating me with no kind of respect once he found out I was married? Even just a little apology would have been nice...

Of course, the rest of the walk back to my car was fueled with questions racing through my mind. Should I be flattered or offended? I guess that means I still kind of got it going on? Too-tight-of-shirt boy, does that really ever work for you? No wonder you are still single. What were you going to do if I was single and told you where the Talmage building was at? How did you even have time to consider hitting on me? You literally saw me for two seconds! Not shallow at all, bro. Also, a word of advice: Don't try to hit on a girl after you just climbed 3 flights of stairs--you sound all breath-y, like breathier than Elena Gilbert speaking to a Salvatore.

And perhaps the most piercing question.... Where is the Talmage building?!

So to all my single lady friends, here's a little bit of unsolicited advice (forgive us married people! we just can't help but give relationship advice, just like we can't help but be in bed by 9 o' clock--it's a disease!): Don't settle for boys who wear maroon shirts that are two sizes too small for them, okay? Just don't.

It's 3 in the morning...

...so naturally, I'm Facebook stalking myself. Usually while I'm stalking, I find myself thinking things like, Man, I was so skinny back then... R.I.P. fast metabolism, or Did I really put that as my caption? (ArE CaPtIoNs LiKe ThIs cOoL AnYmOrE?!?), but today (tonight?) the only thing I kept thinking as I scrolled through every photo album of mine--like the true narcissist that I am--was holy crap! Are my eyebrows really that unpredictable?! I was cringing the whole time and seriously questioning how I got Chris to marry me. Bless him.

Fun fact: Shayli is a plucker. Shayli LOVES to pluck anything and everything that is possible to pluck (Why am I speaking in third person? I don't even know. I'll be sure to put a dollar in the DB jar later), even if it's on someone else's body. Again, bless you, Chris. Anyway, the plucking started in junior high, which is fitting, since the awkwardness of my ever-changing eyebrows is comparable to the awkwardness that accompanies the junior high years of life.

So without further adieu, I give you the evolution of my eyebrows + my many, many duckfaces (I'll be sure to put another dollar in the jar).

^^I got my duckface from my dad?

All this cringing has made me tired....I guess it's time to climb into bed with the man who accepts me and my eyebrows that are just as, if not more, unpredictable as the things I cry at.

That awkward moment...

...when you've been sitting at work for an hour before you realize you're not wearing a bra.

Yep. That happened today.

SO EMBARRASSING.

Now, I know what you're thinking: HOW? How could you not remember to put a bra on?! Trust me, I'm asking myself the same question. I do have some theories though... Maybe I'm still suffering from finals week brain? Or maybe I was just so focused on actually doing my hair today (sorry, topknot... I'm sure you'll make an appearance tomorrow...and the next day...and the day after that). Or maybe, just maybe, it's because I was more worried about shoving candy cane kisses in my pockets for breakfast? I don't know.

Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that today also happened to be the day I decided to wear a white shirt? Or that today was the first day in weeks that I was assigned to be up at reception at work? Which meant no hiding behind a desk for this braless girl. Nope. Just constant walking students to the testing room. I'm sure they thought covering my chesticles with their test was normal, right? And I'm sure my coworkers thought I was just trying to be really reverent walking down the halls with my arms folded like the little sunbeams* I teach.

Thankfully, I had a lunch break to go home and cover the ladies up! Man, I never thought I'd see the day where I'd actually be excited to put a bra on. I came back from lunch a whole new (more shapely) woman!

Needless to say, bras are going in the gratitude journal tonight.



*That was a lie. My sunbeams are little crazy humans. But I love them. Most of the time.