Thursday, November 6, 2014

Still got it.

In pseudo defense of this car selfie: I got hit on today. Well, almost hit on. But almost getting hit on means you've obviously still got 'it' going on, and people that have 'it' going on take car selfies...right?!   

You may be asking yourself, "How does one almost get hit on?" Well, let me tell you!

After an extremely long, boring hour and a half of class, I started walking to my car. As I was walking, I saw this guy in a two-sizes-too-small maroon shirt pop up from the staircase, and two seconds later, he was walking right towards me. Here's how the conversation went:

Too-tight-of-shirt boy: "Hey.... do you know where the Talmage building is by chance?"
Me: "Umm... the Talmage? I don't kn-"
Too-tight-of-shirt boy: *interrupts me mid-sentence* "Oh never mind you're married. I was just trying to hit on you" and walks away.

Ummm....Did that really just happen? 

I couldn't help but feel torn on the situation. On one hand, I was flattered. You know the How I Met Your Mother episode where Robin wears her engagement ring and she basically becomes invisible? Sometimes I feel like that--nobody looks/talks to you when you are married, so it was nice to know that I've "still got it" while wearing leggings and sportin' 4th day curls, I guess. But on the other hand, I couldn't help but be a little offended. Why didn't tight shirt boy just play it cool and keep pretending like he was looking for the Talmage building instead of rudely interrupting me and treating me with no kind of respect once he found out I was married? Even just a little apology would have been nice...

Of course, the rest of the walk back to my car was fueled with questions racing through my mind. Should I be flattered or offended? I guess that means I still kind of got it going on? Too-tight-of-shirt boy, does that really ever work for you? No wonder you are still single. What were you going to do if I was single and told you where the Talmage building was at? How did you even have time to consider hitting on me? You literally saw me for two seconds! Not shallow at all, bro. Also, a word of advice: Don't try to hit on a girl after you just climbed 3 flights of stairs--you sound all breath-y, like breathier than Elena Gilbert speaking to a Salvatore.

And perhaps the most piercing question.... Where is the Talmage building?!

So to all my single lady friends, here's a little bit of unsolicited advice (forgive us married people! we just can't help but give relationship advice, just like we can't help but be in bed by 9 o' clock--it's a disease!): Don't settle for boys who wear maroon shirts that are two sizes too small for them, okay? Just don't.

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