high schoolers say (and do) the darndest things

Almost every time I tell someone I student teach at a high school they gasp in amazement and say, "Teenagers? Wow, you are brave!" which is when I usually just kind of smile and reassure them that teenagers really aren't as big (even though most of them are taller than me), scary, or annoying as everyone else makes them out to be. In fact, they're actually quite entertaining. You know, when you can get them off their phones and keep them awake during class.

Don't believe me when I say that teenagers are entertaining? See for yourself! Here's a little glimpse into what the past month and a half of my life has been like spending most of my time with hyper, hormonal teenagers...

+ (on my first actual day of teaching)
student: "So, are you like, a teacher?"
me: "Yes. I'm your teacher."
student: "What?! I thought you were one of us! I feel so betrayed!"

+ After introducing the class question box (students submit health-related questions anonymously for me to answer next class period), a student came in with a mischievous smile and made sure to tell me, "Look in the question box! I have a really important question!" which I looked at during lunch, only to find a note that read, "Do you wanna build a snowman??" + an inviting looking snowman drawn underneath.

+ Students answering test questions like this:

+ And like this:

You're right, student. "You shall not pass" this exam.

+ (during a student spotlight) 

me: Okay, what questions do you have for our spotlight student today?

student: "Zombie apocalypse. Where you go. Who you're with. Weapon of choice. Ready, GO!" 

+ student: "Mrs. Gourley, I think I'm dying."

me: "Why do you say that?"

student: Because I've been throwing up all weekend and now I just don't want to eat anything and I haven't had an appetite for like, two days. Am I dying?! Please tell me I'm not dying!" 

+ "OH! Your name is Mrs. Gourley? I've just been callin' you 'Big G'..." (thanks, child? still prefer that than being called 'teacher')

+ I noticed a girl in my class had a really big heart-shaped Valentine on her desk and so I said, "Ooooh Grace, is that a Valentine?!" To which she immediately squealed and said, "Yes! It says I hope you get Chipot-laid!" (Chipotle is her favorite restaurant). After holding back a huge laugh (be a grown up, Shayli!), I had to quietly ask her to put it away. I didn't dare ask what another girl's Mountain Dew Valentine said on it... 

+ "Please bring your horse up to my desk, please"--a sentence I never thought I would have to say in my entire life, let alone teaching. But I did have to say it during 4th period when I was in the middle of a discussion about fitness components and was so rudely interrupted by a horse's naaaaaayyy. For whatever reason, a student had brought a broomstick horse to school. 

+ "Are you testing us to see how big of fatties we are?" is what a student asked as he looked questioningly at the bowl of M&M's I placed on his table for a caloric expenditure activity. 

- - - - - - - -

See? Teenagers aren't so bad! Are there days I want to rip my hair out? Yes. Are there days that I blame my 4th period class for the 44oz of Dirty DP I'm sippin' on the way home? Absolutely! But when it comes to teaching high schoolers, the good definitely outweighs the bad. They're funny, they get my jokes, and honestly, all they really want is for you to smile and show that you care about them. They're simple creatures.

It's crazy to me that I only have a little over a month left with these people...I can't help but be a little sad thinking about it. The only thing I can think of to cheer me up is thinking about the comments I'll hear tomorrow when I have my students watch a CPR video that says "push fast and hard" about five too many times... 

...and now I am starting to understand why I love/relate to my students. I think I'm okay as long as I don't start using #'s in formal essays, right?